the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
