I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize