so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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