I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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