I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
