So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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