Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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