i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
