i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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