woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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