I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
