Me. At least after what I've been through.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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