I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
