On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize