it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
