okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
