is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
