Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
