Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
