I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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