I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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