So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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