I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize