I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
