the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You need a sexual gate keeper
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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