That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
