Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the day after is always just damage control
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
