how can u be prego again
there was a trapeze. enough said
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
