people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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