I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize