I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
