Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
