I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
