He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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