i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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