I hate your face
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
