When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
