when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
