Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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