it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
