don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
