the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
