Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
