so that wasnt chicken after all
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
