All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
