Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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