don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
