I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
