yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
