I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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