I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's never too late to be topless.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
