It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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