i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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