im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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