Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
