Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

How is it? Sketchville?

(1-443): View more from Maryland

cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness

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(770): View more from Georgia

I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.

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(716): View more from New York

I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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(213): View more from California

You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night

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(303): View more from Colorado

So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.

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