Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
