Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
