he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
