Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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