I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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