I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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