Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
