Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
