did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
