I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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