...so i touched it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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