Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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