Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
