Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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