It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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