At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The beer is more important than you right now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
