covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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