How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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