i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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